Flirting with the Bartender


As a bartender you are the center of attention, you are what stands between a person and what they want. You are the person to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, even someone to yell at, and if you’re half decent at your job you wear a smile on your face while playing each role.  It is said that being behind a bar makes someone two points higher on a ten point scale of attractiveness. And whether people are flirting with you because they genuinely interested or there is something they want from you, it happens…. a lot. Here is some standard do’s and don’ts of flirting with the bartender.

What to Do (male bartenders):

  • Have the waiter or waitress give your number – Handing your number directly to the bartender often goes unrealized. We are busy people and your number might get lost.
  • Play hard to get – People flirt with us all the time, women and men. This advice is essentially dating advice but even more true for bartenders because they have more options.
  • Be interesting – This goes along with the last one, You need to stand out because we are talking with interesting people all day long. and In New York there is no shortage of beautiful women, so good looks alone seldom does the trick.

What Not to Do (male bartenders):

  • Don’t be obvious – Nothing turns off a bartender more than when you make it obvious you are interested. Again, this borders on simple dating advice, but the reason this is especially important for bartenders is the other customers are less likely to tip.
  • Don’t get jealous – We flirt like it’s our job, that is how we earn more money. If you are the jealous type, you might want to find a nice 9 to 5er.

What to Do (female bartenders):

  • Be funny – Sorry if you’re not an inherently gifted humorist but humor goes a long way in making a bartender’s day go by quickly. Make them laugh.
  • Play hard to get – Keep them interested, keep them wanting more. (see above)

What Not to Do (female bartenders):

  • Don’t get too drunk – This one is almost too obvious. Bartenders are generally not drunk on the job. You seem foolish.
  • Don’t be desperate – Simple dating advice but when female bartenders are the only females talking to you, you probably seem desperate.
  • Don’t assume – Female bartenders flirt, it does not mean they’re interested!